OK, so I have not posted a single thing since 2008. That is not to say nothing has been happening since then it is a simple case of the "I don't wanna's" a harmless little bug my kids seem to be teeming with these days.
I have spent all of this summer sweeping, washing and squeegee-ing the patio to prepare for pool parties and washing endless mountains of beach towels after pool parties. Go ahead, look at facebook. You can see for yourself we have spent the summer trying to wear the coping off the edges of the pool. I have the greatest tan of my life this summer and I owe it all to yard work!
Since the pool is surrounded by a magnificent, glorious green carpet of St. Augustine grass my husband (the yard Nazi) decided we (and by we he means ME) so... I should push mow around the pool with a bag attached to the mower in an effort to keep clippings out of the pool! (Yeah! OK but what about all the "flingings" that fly into the pool when you come around the edge with the weed wacker???) That is a whole different process with a whole different set of guidelines set forth by the same crazy dude making up all the other crazy yard rules. ANYWAY!! The bag on the mower...that is the catalyst for my almost weekly outdoor break down. The bag to yard ratio is way off so one is required to empty the bag in excess of 10 times to finish the back yard alone. I KNOW!
This little chore is no easy task as the yard is on a slope for drainage purposes because the hill we live on simply won't do the trick. The grass is absurdly thick from the daily watering and it's squishy which makes the dang mower hard to push. Then there is the damn bag again! It weighs at least 40 pounds every time it needs to be emptied. The clippings are almost always stuck so now you have to shake the 40 pound bag of moist freshly clipped grass to and fro, up and down, bang it on the side of the trailer......yeah there is a trailer too and a 4 wheel ATV so one can drive the 400 pounds of grass clippings down the hill and dump them. The process works like a charm but is amazingly hard work and I am a grown woman. In size only of course otherwise I would be better equipped to deal with this life task. Anyway, my husband somehow thinks our 7 year old son can handle this job which I know from personal, weekly experience he cannot therefore I am stuck with the job until the kid grows another 4 feet. Yes, no need to ask...my husband is out of his mind and everyone knows it except him. He thinks he is a "multi-tasker" but we all know he's just plain crazy.
So, between cleaning, washing and mowing I have not found much time to sit and type. However, after having vented a little here today I think I may have to make time. Besides, I think St. Augustine goes dormant some time around October...right?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Lying By Omission...and other stealth parenting skills
Well, I have begun a secret mission which includes my unknowing, unconsenting family members. Without naming names but for informational purpose, these clueless victims are my own children.
They have become unsuspecting guinea pigs in my own little game of "Betcha didn't know" and "Gotcha".
For instance, during the summer I began a grass roots effort to eat better without telling the kids since leaving them out would make the transition so much easier and it did! I made huge strides towards better health with my "what you don't know won't kill you or stop me" effort. Pork bacon was replaced with turkey bacon. Ground turkey replaced ground beef. Low fat cheese was added to omlettes and the full o' fat stuff lay waiting at the local World O' Wally for some other poor soul to purchase. Things were going so well I even confided in my mother who silently followed suit and replaced her bacon as well.
I was in hog-less heaven I tell ya! Then we spent a day or 9 by the pool. Deep fat fryer bubbling with the oily brown stuff that makes so many things sooooooo gooooood when I came across my greatest fake out to date.
While the chicken tenders, fried pickles, onion rings and fried cheese where rolling around in the fryer the kids wanted Ranch dressing. When they ask for Ranch they don't intend on using it as a condiment or even a dip. THEY use it as a second coating drenched over the already horribly unhealthy but fabulously fried coating. Once inside I realized I was out of sour cream. Not wanting to disappoint I had to improvise. Here it is y'all. The greatest fake out yet. I used cottage cheese! Yep. Large curd 4% cottage cheese, a package of ranch dip seasoning and the most fabulous tool of all....the stick blender! THEY STILL DON'T KNOW! I even had kid salad (lettuce w/ Ranch) and they ate it like it was the real deal. I am so proud of my deceit!
Turns out, if you make a 24 oz. container of sour cream you are looking at 1320 calories. The "new" Ranch has 720 calories in the WHOLE container. Hand on my heart, it doesn't really taste that different but what a difference it makes.
I don't think I will ever tell the kids...atleast not until they move out that is. The last thing I want to do is ruin the good thing I got going on now!
They have become unsuspecting guinea pigs in my own little game of "Betcha didn't know" and "Gotcha".
For instance, during the summer I began a grass roots effort to eat better without telling the kids since leaving them out would make the transition so much easier and it did! I made huge strides towards better health with my "what you don't know won't kill you or stop me" effort. Pork bacon was replaced with turkey bacon. Ground turkey replaced ground beef. Low fat cheese was added to omlettes and the full o' fat stuff lay waiting at the local World O' Wally for some other poor soul to purchase. Things were going so well I even confided in my mother who silently followed suit and replaced her bacon as well.
I was in hog-less heaven I tell ya! Then we spent a day or 9 by the pool. Deep fat fryer bubbling with the oily brown stuff that makes so many things sooooooo gooooood when I came across my greatest fake out to date.
While the chicken tenders, fried pickles, onion rings and fried cheese where rolling around in the fryer the kids wanted Ranch dressing. When they ask for Ranch they don't intend on using it as a condiment or even a dip. THEY use it as a second coating drenched over the already horribly unhealthy but fabulously fried coating. Once inside I realized I was out of sour cream. Not wanting to disappoint I had to improvise. Here it is y'all. The greatest fake out yet. I used cottage cheese! Yep. Large curd 4% cottage cheese, a package of ranch dip seasoning and the most fabulous tool of all....the stick blender! THEY STILL DON'T KNOW! I even had kid salad (lettuce w/ Ranch) and they ate it like it was the real deal. I am so proud of my deceit!
Turns out, if you make a 24 oz. container of sour cream you are looking at 1320 calories. The "new" Ranch has 720 calories in the WHOLE container. Hand on my heart, it doesn't really taste that different but what a difference it makes.
I don't think I will ever tell the kids...atleast not until they move out that is. The last thing I want to do is ruin the good thing I got going on now!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Oh the Pressure of being ....ME!
Well, as I mentioned in my first post, I was re-inspired by another to actually begin the little blogging journey. Much to my surprise...... but then again not really, my inspiration has turned out to be a possible "stalker". That is her word NOT mine. I opened an email from her this morning and she said "Please post on your blog" blah blah blah..don't make me become a stalker! OK, that is not exactly what she said but that is exactly the word she used.....stalker!
Look AC if you have the kind of time it takes to be a stalker then PLEASE help me with my time managment. You have twice the kids I have and your husband is 1/2 the age of mine. Apply some simple math and you have got yourself an extra kid you happen to be married to. You are....in a word.....organized!
Another O word! Ah the O words. Oprah, organized, orgasms, overdraft, overdue, over heated, overwhelmed, organic, obligation, oblivion, oblivious, over weight, out numbered, O-bgyn, outwit, over hang (and the reverse) ovulate.....the list is endless if you try. So, what order (look another one...oops 2, nope I mean 3) do you recommend I place these in to....obtain (haha) enough time to actutally STALK someone? Why? Because I have a list a mile long of people I would like to stalk the hell out of!! Could I consider stalking a hobby since I am short on hobbies?
To be a fly on the wall is one thing. Freaking people out....well that just sounds like fun! OK, enough of that. When I am frustrated, worried or just plain tired I...yes me Ramblin Robin, have a hard time organizing the thoughts I want to share. Why? Because I don't want to talk about it but for you....I will. Don't say I didn't warn you and don't think this is a downer. Consider it a wake your ass upper!
Last week I received several items of bad news. The sister of a dear and wonderful friend died while in the hospital for no other reason than she simply wasn't cared for properly. The wife of a dear and wonderful friend went in for some routine surgery and discovered she has cancer leaving him broken and afraid. I learned another friend had suffered the loss of a pregnancy and while they have been blessed with another one the sting of loss stays with you. So, without much to laugh at during this time I have pondered.
I discovered I consider myself oblivious to my own wonderful life. I am unaware of how wonderful my life is on a day to day basis and just how lucky I am to have the life I do. I am blessed to have a home, sheets on the bed, clothes to wear, shoes ( and flip flops count as shoes......yes they DO!) to put on my feet AND MY HEALTHY KIDS FEET! We are over indulged to the point of oblivion. I am sure there is someone, somewhere who would happily, hell gratefully, change places with me... yet up to a few days ago I was fussing about the laundry and how dirty the house gets when the kids come blowing in from outside. I found myself feeling ashamed of myself.
It is only by the death of my own father have I or my family been able to accomplish some of the things we have and have some of the things we do. How quickly I forgot the price paid for some of the things I complain about.....daily! I had forgotten how to treasure moments. Then I go home and see the husband of Susan sitting quietly by her side. Even in her death he wouldn't leave her alone. I see the husband of Caren, a large, burly man trying to gently console his inconsolable wife. Her tears flowing and soaking his workshirt. I see Jeanie so stoic she can't cry. The pain so unbearable she is afraid to feel it. She hurts but she can't let herself feel it yet not all of it...not just yet. Then there was their mother Clay, shaking and small. She was the loudest, funniest, most irreverent broad in her day! Jet black hair and red lipstick, big earrings, always had a drink in her hand and always ready to hand you a drink. She was loving and loud. She was the life of the party and Eddie (her husband) was the party. They make me think of me and I see just how fragile our lives are. I can see what it looks like to lose so much. I can only comprehend the pain of the girls to a certain point. I do not know how it feels to lose your sister. I do not know nor do I want to know how it feels to lose your child but I can see nothing and I do mean nothing else can make any of it any easier or even slightly understandable.
So, I am gonna let some stuff go. Argue a little less, stress a little less (well I am gonna TRY) and I am gonna think long and hard about my daddy. I am going to thank him daily for all of the things his hard work and love allowed me to have. Bitching about it makes me feel like I am bitching about him and I just can't do that. Honestly, I owe him the life I have and the life I am giving to my kids so for that and so many many other things I didn't even know you gave me.....thank you from the bottom of my tired, redneck, worn slap out by Friday heart!
There was a time when I went to work everyday, stayed away from home and spent time with people I really didn't know that well. Thank God and Dad, I can spend my days raising the kids I complain about, doing the laundry of the man who drives me nuts and cleaning the house I love to hate because in a moment, in a blink, ALL OF IT could change forever and I don't want to miss a another moment.
Now, go hug your stupid husband and kiss your crusty kids. In the words of the friend I miss the most "I love my life". Finally! Of all the things my step mother shared with me...the one thing I truly wish she had been wrong about.....time creeps by when you are young and in the end you find yourself wishing time would slow down. How true those words have become. WHY can't we live our lives backwards?
Look AC if you have the kind of time it takes to be a stalker then PLEASE help me with my time managment. You have twice the kids I have and your husband is 1/2 the age of mine. Apply some simple math and you have got yourself an extra kid you happen to be married to. You are....in a word.....organized!
Another O word! Ah the O words. Oprah, organized, orgasms, overdraft, overdue, over heated, overwhelmed, organic, obligation, oblivion, oblivious, over weight, out numbered, O-bgyn, outwit, over hang (and the reverse) ovulate.....the list is endless if you try. So, what order (look another one...oops 2, nope I mean 3) do you recommend I place these in to....obtain (haha) enough time to actutally STALK someone? Why? Because I have a list a mile long of people I would like to stalk the hell out of!! Could I consider stalking a hobby since I am short on hobbies?
To be a fly on the wall is one thing. Freaking people out....well that just sounds like fun! OK, enough of that. When I am frustrated, worried or just plain tired I...yes me Ramblin Robin, have a hard time organizing the thoughts I want to share. Why? Because I don't want to talk about it but for you....I will. Don't say I didn't warn you and don't think this is a downer. Consider it a wake your ass upper!
Last week I received several items of bad news. The sister of a dear and wonderful friend died while in the hospital for no other reason than she simply wasn't cared for properly. The wife of a dear and wonderful friend went in for some routine surgery and discovered she has cancer leaving him broken and afraid. I learned another friend had suffered the loss of a pregnancy and while they have been blessed with another one the sting of loss stays with you. So, without much to laugh at during this time I have pondered.
I discovered I consider myself oblivious to my own wonderful life. I am unaware of how wonderful my life is on a day to day basis and just how lucky I am to have the life I do. I am blessed to have a home, sheets on the bed, clothes to wear, shoes ( and flip flops count as shoes......yes they DO!) to put on my feet AND MY HEALTHY KIDS FEET! We are over indulged to the point of oblivion. I am sure there is someone, somewhere who would happily, hell gratefully, change places with me... yet up to a few days ago I was fussing about the laundry and how dirty the house gets when the kids come blowing in from outside. I found myself feeling ashamed of myself.
It is only by the death of my own father have I or my family been able to accomplish some of the things we have and have some of the things we do. How quickly I forgot the price paid for some of the things I complain about.....daily! I had forgotten how to treasure moments. Then I go home and see the husband of Susan sitting quietly by her side. Even in her death he wouldn't leave her alone. I see the husband of Caren, a large, burly man trying to gently console his inconsolable wife. Her tears flowing and soaking his workshirt. I see Jeanie so stoic she can't cry. The pain so unbearable she is afraid to feel it. She hurts but she can't let herself feel it yet not all of it...not just yet. Then there was their mother Clay, shaking and small. She was the loudest, funniest, most irreverent broad in her day! Jet black hair and red lipstick, big earrings, always had a drink in her hand and always ready to hand you a drink. She was loving and loud. She was the life of the party and Eddie (her husband) was the party. They make me think of me and I see just how fragile our lives are. I can see what it looks like to lose so much. I can only comprehend the pain of the girls to a certain point. I do not know how it feels to lose your sister. I do not know nor do I want to know how it feels to lose your child but I can see nothing and I do mean nothing else can make any of it any easier or even slightly understandable.
So, I am gonna let some stuff go. Argue a little less, stress a little less (well I am gonna TRY) and I am gonna think long and hard about my daddy. I am going to thank him daily for all of the things his hard work and love allowed me to have. Bitching about it makes me feel like I am bitching about him and I just can't do that. Honestly, I owe him the life I have and the life I am giving to my kids so for that and so many many other things I didn't even know you gave me.....thank you from the bottom of my tired, redneck, worn slap out by Friday heart!
There was a time when I went to work everyday, stayed away from home and spent time with people I really didn't know that well. Thank God and Dad, I can spend my days raising the kids I complain about, doing the laundry of the man who drives me nuts and cleaning the house I love to hate because in a moment, in a blink, ALL OF IT could change forever and I don't want to miss a another moment.
Now, go hug your stupid husband and kiss your crusty kids. In the words of the friend I miss the most "I love my life". Finally! Of all the things my step mother shared with me...the one thing I truly wish she had been wrong about.....time creeps by when you are young and in the end you find yourself wishing time would slow down. How true those words have become. WHY can't we live our lives backwards?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I am back
Well, as many of you know I had a blog on myspace while my family and I traveled the Left Coast last summer. I found the blog amazingly therapeutic and after seeing the blog of a friend decided I should or at least could start my own about the nothings and everythings which occur in my everyday life. The good , the bad and the freakin' hilarious.
Now, for those of you who recognize and have something to say about the photo I posted of myself.....shut up! I have not loaded many recent photos of myself so be patient and know something self deprecating and funny will show up soon enough. It's not like I am incapable of making a fool of myself. BTW, please try to avoid sending these encouraging emails "Change your background", "Write something new", blah blah and etc. etc. Life happens at a pace more rapid than I can count and trust me....not everything is worthy or appropriate to be writing about. Give me a break and let the kids get back in school will ya?
I should have started this 8 weeks ago when we started the pool....maybe I would not have felt so compelled to stuff 3 pounds of peanut M&M's in my face the last 2 months. Everybody has a vice. Turns out I have 3. M&M's, Miller Lite and Flamin' Hot Cheetos con Limon! Oh then there is the shopping thing, then the trying to hide it thing, then the very defensive almost insulted "What? I have had this forever but thanks for noticing" reveal I pull from time to time....I mean EVERYtime! It's not like he hasn't caught on but you have to adore the man who is willing to play the game and let you think you are winning right?
To update you on the kids...Tanner decided football was NOT his game and has limited his sporting activities to basketball, baseball and wearing out the last nerve in my system with rapid fire Q&A or my personal favorite...the "What If" game. Tanner turned 6 this year and had his first experience with summer camp. Camp Huawni holds many special memories for my sister and myself so it only seemed natural to send my own kids there too. Trouper has attended 3 years and as I mentioned before this was Tanner's first. I spent 5 summers at camp and my sister spent 7. Each year in the second week of camp the campers are divided into tribes (teams) and the teams compete at Tribal Competition. Why? To compete for the coveted Golden Pine Cone award. The tribe with the most points at the end of the competition WINS and each team member receives the Golden Pine Cone which represents team work, determination and dedication. The award has eluded myself, my sister and even my oldest son Trouper but TANNER HAS ONE! His first year at camp. He was 5 years old when he got it and he doesn't even begin to understand how cool it really is to have the thing. My heart is bursting with pride and tinted with jealousy. Sure I could paint my own dang pine cone but it wouldn't be the same. This thing is the Academy Award of summer camp and Tanner pops in and snags one.
Trouper is playing football this year. He has reached a towering 5'7 and 160 pounds of ten year old boy. He is fierce on the field and a whiz in the kitchen. He is learning to do the laundry and if all goes well I should be well on my way to raising an amazing husband for a lucky gal! After his 2 weeks at Camp Huawni Trouper spent another week at football camp. Jay Novachek does a camp in Denton each year and Trouper was awesome. He was awarded "Best Defensive End" in his age group and is shaping up to have an awesome season this year. I am proud of the boy. He is something of a Renaissance man as he sings in his school choir. I am hoping he will involve himself with Student Council this year too. Trouper is often effected by the things he sees on the news or reads in the paper and sometimes feels called to action to make changes even if those changes involve only himself or our family. He is growing and learning. He understands people can make a difference if they TRY!
As for Trace, he is working, working, working but he always finds time for football practice and games. Those are a must. He is working diligently to help a friend expand her foundation for children with disabilities who are bound to wheelchairs. He is a firm believer in being charitable not because it looks good but because it FEELS good. That makes me proud of him. He drives me crazy and the trip keeps getting shorter.
As for me....well, I am the mother hen who chases all the chickens. I can't find my keys or my phone most days. I have resorted to wearing make up only when I am going somewhere and it better be good. I am the pit crew, the clean up man and the boss of this place. In a nutshell? I run the funny farm!
Now, for those of you who recognize and have something to say about the photo I posted of myself.....shut up! I have not loaded many recent photos of myself so be patient and know something self deprecating and funny will show up soon enough. It's not like I am incapable of making a fool of myself. BTW, please try to avoid sending these encouraging emails "Change your background", "Write something new", blah blah and etc. etc. Life happens at a pace more rapid than I can count and trust me....not everything is worthy or appropriate to be writing about. Give me a break and let the kids get back in school will ya?
I should have started this 8 weeks ago when we started the pool....maybe I would not have felt so compelled to stuff 3 pounds of peanut M&M's in my face the last 2 months. Everybody has a vice. Turns out I have 3. M&M's, Miller Lite and Flamin' Hot Cheetos con Limon! Oh then there is the shopping thing, then the trying to hide it thing, then the very defensive almost insulted "What? I have had this forever but thanks for noticing" reveal I pull from time to time....I mean EVERYtime! It's not like he hasn't caught on but you have to adore the man who is willing to play the game and let you think you are winning right?
To update you on the kids...Tanner decided football was NOT his game and has limited his sporting activities to basketball, baseball and wearing out the last nerve in my system with rapid fire Q&A or my personal favorite...the "What If" game. Tanner turned 6 this year and had his first experience with summer camp. Camp Huawni holds many special memories for my sister and myself so it only seemed natural to send my own kids there too. Trouper has attended 3 years and as I mentioned before this was Tanner's first. I spent 5 summers at camp and my sister spent 7. Each year in the second week of camp the campers are divided into tribes (teams) and the teams compete at Tribal Competition. Why? To compete for the coveted Golden Pine Cone award. The tribe with the most points at the end of the competition WINS and each team member receives the Golden Pine Cone which represents team work, determination and dedication. The award has eluded myself, my sister and even my oldest son Trouper but TANNER HAS ONE! His first year at camp. He was 5 years old when he got it and he doesn't even begin to understand how cool it really is to have the thing. My heart is bursting with pride and tinted with jealousy. Sure I could paint my own dang pine cone but it wouldn't be the same. This thing is the Academy Award of summer camp and Tanner pops in and snags one.
Trouper is playing football this year. He has reached a towering 5'7 and 160 pounds of ten year old boy. He is fierce on the field and a whiz in the kitchen. He is learning to do the laundry and if all goes well I should be well on my way to raising an amazing husband for a lucky gal! After his 2 weeks at Camp Huawni Trouper spent another week at football camp. Jay Novachek does a camp in Denton each year and Trouper was awesome. He was awarded "Best Defensive End" in his age group and is shaping up to have an awesome season this year. I am proud of the boy. He is something of a Renaissance man as he sings in his school choir. I am hoping he will involve himself with Student Council this year too. Trouper is often effected by the things he sees on the news or reads in the paper and sometimes feels called to action to make changes even if those changes involve only himself or our family. He is growing and learning. He understands people can make a difference if they TRY!
As for Trace, he is working, working, working but he always finds time for football practice and games. Those are a must. He is working diligently to help a friend expand her foundation for children with disabilities who are bound to wheelchairs. He is a firm believer in being charitable not because it looks good but because it FEELS good. That makes me proud of him. He drives me crazy and the trip keeps getting shorter.
As for me....well, I am the mother hen who chases all the chickens. I can't find my keys or my phone most days. I have resorted to wearing make up only when I am going somewhere and it better be good. I am the pit crew, the clean up man and the boss of this place. In a nutshell? I run the funny farm!
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